Lately...

Lately I've been feeling a bit moody. I don't know why, but I haven't felt happy or "satisfied" with life. I've felt depressed and really moody. I've wanted to be alone and hide everything inside me. My mom has asked me several times 'what's wrong sweetie?' but I haven't been able to tell her what was really wrong... because I really don't know it myself. I have a lot of wishes and I've realized that most of them will probably never come true. It's been a heartbreaking and saddened thought for me and I don't know how to deal with it. I have changed my view on life and people around me. I have changed a lot this summer - personally. Found out what I want my life to be like and what I want in my life. I do not what something that makes me sad or frustrated or tear me down. My mom is a very wise person and I realized that I should follow some of her advise. I do not have to 'please' every person I meet. I should stick to what I want and not let everyone's problems tear me apart inside. All I want to be is HAPPY! Is that too much to ask for? This summer I changed for good! I changed to be a totally other person than I were before - I changed to be a better person and a person who put myself in the front row contrary to my 'other self'.
After this summer I'm starting Senior year of High School and it scares the hell out of me. What do I want to do after high school? This question frustrates me sooooo much. Everyone wants to know my answer to it and honestly... I don't know the answer myself. If I should follow my dream - which is impossible atm - I would apply to a university in Maryland, D.C area or California. I want to move to the states so badly. I really miss being there - this summer for instant. There's a hole in my heart and my spare time where the states belong. I miss it's presence - it sounds like withdrawal symptoms lol. One day I will leave and never come back. This I mean for sure.    

Day 26: Give 6 pictures of famous guys/girls you find attractive

These 6 guys are the ones I find very attractive!!
Ryan Gosling

Alex Pettyfer

Zac Efron

Adam Levine

 

Francisco Lachowski

 

Douglas Booth

Hm WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEELL?

Okay guys... I don't know what the hell happened but lots of my "30 day challenge" posts are gone! Gone by the wind :( I've used so much time on it and now they're all gone. I've decided to drop the whole challenge because I do not have time to reconstruct all the posts again - i actually feel terrible for saying that. I promise to make it up to you and do some summer post from my summer vacation in Denmark and my new in :-) Summer vacation equals shopping - of course!

Day 25: Tell us 6 places you want to visit

I've always wanted to travel the world... but unfortunatly I have to pick 6 places and my choice goes to these 6 down below. But trust me, if I could pick all places in the world I would.  
Hawaii
Bali
Italy
Barcelona
China
New Zealand

Day 22: 4 thing you are proud of about your personality

I think it's really hard to say things about your own personality - you don't want to feel selfish ;) On the other hand.. you don't know how your personality looks through other peoples eyes or your friends eyes. But I've come to the conclusion that these three things (see down below) are some of the qualities about my personality that I'm very proud of.
- Kindhearted
- Loving
- Patient
- Hard-working

Day 20: 5 Turn ons, and 5 Turn offs

Turn on:
Boys who smells good
muscular
Cute smile
a twinkle in their eye
Charming
(Sorry I have to put a number six on this list – When a guy is nice and good with kids and animals! My heart melts.)

Turn off:
Douche bag (assholes)
Sweat
bad breath
Bad personality
Bad attitude and temper

Day 15: Write about something you worry about a lot

Something I worry about a lot is the question “Am I good enough?” I think every teenager have had that thought about being good enough. Now and then I wonder if I’m good enough and when I do, I sometime answer the question with the negative word no. No you’re not good enough. Many teenagers live with low self-esteem and of course I do not have that much self-conscience as I want to. Next year, I’m out of High School and that terrifies me a lot. Am I good enough to follow the dreams I have? Am I good enough to study abroad? Am I good enough to graduate? AM I FREAKING GOOD ENOUGH? What if I fail? My whole future depends on these exams. So yeah.. this is something I worry about a lot. I don’t think people around me even notice it but I’m freaking out. Not just literally. If you’re one of those thousands of thousands teenagers who worry about the same thing – don’t give up! We’re going to stand side by side and together we’ll defeat this worry. I think it’s hard to talk about. It’s not something I want to share with many people. Maybe my closest friends and part of my family – the fact is that I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know what to do and it makes me sad. I could cry about this if I really wanted to and sometimes I do. It’s hard to handle such a pressure the society throws on us. It’s hard to handle a concern like this.