Screwing up

Do you know that feeling when you think you've screwed/messed up big time with a person? There's this guy - he's a freshman at my school and a year younger than me, but that's so not the point! He is one of those guys you see at the hallways and think "gosh he looks cute!" - because he do look cute (to be more specific; he looks very very cute at all time). We have these partys at school - exactly 7 partys each year - and it's the perfect opportunity to meet new people. I think it was at the first party where I talked to him - he promised me a dance, but again that's not the point ;)
The next party had the theme called Grease! I dressed up as a Pink lady - with a little black dress and the "pink ladies" jacket. It was at this party he kissed me and I kissed him back. And I got my dance with him lol.
Now months after I still think back on that exact party. After that party everything changed. Everything became awkward... between him and me, but also between his class and my class. I can tell you about one time: his class and my class had a preparty before we went to the party at our school. Do I have to say more than AWKWARD??? It was the most awkward preparty I've ever been to. It's one of those times you drink some alcohol to avoid the awkwardness and go often to the bathroom just to avoid someone. We tried our ass's off to socialize and somehow we ended up having a great time...hmmm...Or I think we all had a great time? I actually don't know! But it was also the most awkward situation I've ever experienced.
It's not that I regret kissing him several times at all, but if you even can't look each other in the eyes, when passing each other in the hallways.... something is completely wrong - and it's here I feel I've messed up.  Now several month later I'm over it and the whole awkward situation, but I kinda fell like he's not. Everytime I'm nearby him at partys and stuff like that... He moves to another place and it takes less than a second - it can't go quick enough. I do not regret the kiss but I regret the situation we've put us in. It might seem like I've some sort of feelings for him - but actually I don't. I know it's an entire blog post about one specific guy, but it's not because of my feelings for him - it's more "I feel like I've screwed up and now regret the situation we've put us in"-ish.
Sorry for filling your heads with this - I just had to get it out. Last night it got me thinking - it sometimes happens for me - that old things pop right back into my head ;)

All this thinking gets my head spinning around

Lots of love
Missakd